You've come a long way baby!

After 6.5 weeks in a hip spica cast from breaking his femur, our little son Jesse is finally free!

Yesterday his X-ray showed he had produced enough bone in his femur to allow the doctor to take that smelly blue body cast off. We were ecstatic. Jesse screamed bloody murder while the saw was going (those saws are really loud), but the only other emotion we all felt was total joy.

We didn't know what to expect once the cast was off. The doctor had said it would take up to 6 weeks for him to be back to "normal." Would he be able to walk immediately? Would his leg be skinny and emaciated looking? Actually, it all turned out to be as good as possible. His leg looked normal except for having not exfoliated itself for 6 weeks. Even the pink letters the doctors had written on his leg in the ER were still there.

Despite some soreness, Jesse was walking immediately and now, one day later, is climbing on the furniture again. Please, child, give your mother a break! We don't need any more trips to the ER.

It's hard to believe this season has nearly passed for us. Although each day seemed like a grueling eternity during the first few weeks, the cast actually became a normal way of life for us by the time 5 weeks in it rolled around.

Jesse should continue to get back to his toddler ways no problem. We hope he doesn't remember any of the bad parts of this time. We've all learned a lot and it's helped to make us a closer family. For that, and many other things, we're super thankful.

Now for some massages (carrying around that cast for 6 weeks was brutal)...

Fear Everywhere

Fear seems to be around me everywhere lately. Not just any fear; the specific fear of trajedy happening to my kids. I'm sure some of this comes naturally with parenthood. But it's been popping up at every corner.

Jesse getting so badly hurt by simply running through a pile of pillows hasn't helped me be a less cautious mom, that's for sure. So that's one thing: fear of my kids getting physically hurt when playing. I used to be very relaxed about that, but now I'm on edge with it.

Then there are these horrible videos on facebook of kids getting hit by cars or dying in car accidents. I don't even want to think about stuff like that.

And a creepy guy at Centennial Park yesterday warned me, "Don't let your little boys go in that thar bathroom over yonder by themselves." Don't even mess with me mister!

Why is this stuff everywhere??? I can't even watch a TV show where a kid gets hurt in any way. I had to stop watching Grey's Anatomy 3 years ago. I can't handle it!

There are so many ways for our kids to get hurt in our society. The thought of losing a child almost paralyzes me. I'm in a fight now to learn not to be in constant fear about it. I'm not the one in control ultimately, and that's the scariest part! But it's also the thing I need to believe and to let go of in order to overcome all this fear.

The Upsides of Jesse's Current Situation

6 weeks in a body cast??? We were shocked at the news from the doctor that Jesse would be in this huge cast for so long. Neither he nor we adjusted to his new condition quickly. BUT, after a few weeks, we were able to see the good things God was using this time for. Here are a few I've jotted down. I'm sure I'll add to them too.
1. Jesse's small motor skills and hand/eye coordination have developed leaps and bounds, since he is forced to be in one place at a time, and indoors a lot. Puzzles, blocks, games have all gotten to be strengths of his.
2. Jesse's vocabulary has increased. Since he can't show us what he wants, he's had to learn to communicate it to us. He does still use screaming to show us we've misunderstood him, but we've all definitely gotten better at understanding what he's saying.
3. We've had lots more time together as a family, unscheduling ourselves and staying mostly inside.
4. We got to see what an amazing support system of friends and family we have. Meals, activities for the kids to do, friends who've watched Cole or picked up groceries for us, my parents staying with us most of the entire time to help with life. Which brings me to #5
5. The boys have gotten a lot of time with their grandparents, which is priceless.
6. I've become content to stay inside and play with my kids, instead of needing to always go somewhere to stay occupied. We've had lots of fun, and I'm now better able to keep them occupied with things we have at home. (Of course, getting lots of new toys from friends and family helped with that one too!)
7. This also has made us more prepared for winter, and my friends are already saying they'll be asking me for advice on how to stay occupied during long stretches of indoor time during the winter.
8. Jesse is more adaptable now, we hope. I guess we won't know for sure till he gets the cast off, but it's definitely a possibility we're hoping for. God knows adaptability doesn't come naturally for me.
9. I've discovered that I'm more sensitive to kids with special needs, and their parents. I could never fully relate to a parent whose child is permanently disabled, but I have a very good idea of the struggles each day brings in their lives and the myriad challenges they face.
10. Having been helped by so many people, I now have a better idea of how to genuinely help others in need. I'll no longer say, "If you need something, let me know." Instead, I'll try to anticipate others' needs and meet them without them asking.
11. I have a deeper love for my children. I mean, a mother's love is inherent, but mine has grown during this time. The extra time with them, with fewer outside distractions, has been great.

As difficult as this time has been (only 10 days left!!!), it has also been invaluable in terms of what it's done in our lives. Would I go back and avoid Jesse breaking his leg if I could -- yes. But I'm thankful that God has used it to do great things.