Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Simple Life

Lately it seems more people are living the simple life in many ways. By simple I definitely don't mean easy; just slower paced and with fewer time-commitments, distractions, and luxuries.Whether due to finances, health concerns, or just a desire to be less stressed, the simplicity trend seems to be growing.

Over the past year or so, my husband and I have made some of these changes too, all for different reasons. The changes we've made may not work for everyone or be a better way for everyone to live, they're just changes we've made that work for us and have enhanced our lives. Here is our journey; maybe you can relate:

First was our diet. We wanted to eat more naturally, so we started eliminating processed foods and buying stuff straight from the farm or growing it ourselves. It's a simpler way of eating, but by no means is it a simpler way of preparation or clean up.

Next was a financial hurdle that made us cut some luxuries from our life: cable and Mother's Day Out. I love my HGTV and TLC as much as any other mom, but now I've gotten used to not having it. I've finally gotten around to the books I want to read, and my husband and I veg out with coffee and a game of Scrabble or popcorn and a movie. We honestly don't miss it, and gone are the days where I wasted an entire evening in front of the TV, later feeling bad that I didn't do anything I really wanted to do that night. (Side note: if you or your husband are way into sports, this may not work for you. :) )

And then there was Mother's Day Out. When I realized this had to be cut from our lives, I was very afraid. No time alone, without my kids? This was a luxury I was not looking forward to doing without. But here we are, 8 months later, and I don't think I'd put them back in MDO even if we could. I've learned how to run errands with them or save errands till the evening. I've enjoyed trading baby-stting with my neighbors. We've made something work that's actually ended up simplifying our lives. No more rushing to get the boys out the door for MDO; no more packing lunches, buying school supplies, attending midday performances, worrying how many days of class would be cancelled due to snow or sickness. I LOVE Mother's Day Out and it has many wonderful aspects, but not having it has simplified our life. Not made it easier, just simplified it.

Another way we've gotten back to the simple life is not overscheduling. Getting the kids somewhere on time stresses me out, especially when they don't want to go to wherever I'm wanting to take them. We're careful not to overschedule ourselves, not just with the kids during the daytime, but with our evenings as well since my husband works 6 days a week till 6:30. We say no to a lot of opportunities because we know it's also saying no to the stress that comes along with those opportunities. We're no longer too busy to enjoy moments together as a family. That's been priceless.

One final way our lives have become simpler is in our perspective on life. After cutting a few luxuries out of our lives, my husband and I realized we have a LOT of luxury in America. We've taken a little time to sit back and think, "Do we really need all this stuff and to spend so much time running after things that aren't important in the long run?"  Honestly, if all you had to worry about each day was feeding your family, would that make life simpler or more difficult? It sure seems simpler.

I remember being totally stressed out one day telling my husband, "Sometimes I just want to sell everything we have and move to a country where none of this matters. All this running around, worrying about debt, retirement, clothes, hair, schools, speech problems, or potty training gets me so worked up. Most people in the world don't worry about these things!" Of course, living in another country would come with its own set of very real challenges, so I'm not serious about moving; but Nick and I are definitely making it a point to examine what's really necessary. Is the issue at hand truly important? Or can we simplify our lives by eliminating whatever pressure is causing us to be worried? Most of the time we can simplify.

So if you find yourself in a difficult health or financial situation that forces you to get back to basics and eliminate some stuff from your life, you may just find that it's a better way for you after all. We're enjoying our journey toward a more simple life. Maybe you will too.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Little Things

I'm at a season of life where my life is consumed by little things: little fingerprints on the walls, little boys running around the house, little teeth to brush, little clothes to fold, little things hiding in the carpet, little sippy-cup filters to fish out of the bottom of the dishwasher.

All too often it's the little things that I allow to overwhelm me. It's safe to say I am a person who gets easily overwhelmed. So a person with my demeanor who has hundreds of little things piling up in a day is sometimes a recipe for disaster. At the end of some days my husband (bless his heart) can tell I'm at my wits end and will ask, "Honey, what's wrong?" "Everything and Nothing at the same time!", I'll respond, usually with tears in my eyes and frustration in my voice over my own shortcomings. Because, truthfully, none of those little things really matter in the grand scheme of life, but they sure seem to add up to one big aggravating day that pushes me to the edges of insanity. And I feel bad for letting the little things get to me.

It's hard to find a happy place where the little things don't bother me. I mean, it only takes so many spilled cups of water before I am yelling at my kids over their clumsiness. Why is this? Does anyone have some advice for how to keep the upteen little upsets of a day with kids from making you angry, overwhelmed, and upset over -- seemingly -- nothing?

I have to remind myself daily that there WILL be little upsets all day long. I can accept that fact and brace myself for it, or continue to get utterly frustrated with the little portions of vegetables my kids are willing to eat, the little holes they dig in the flower beds, the little bugs they put in their pockets,  the little grease smudges they leave on the furniture, and the little stains they get on every new outfit.

Because these amazing little humans bring HUGE joy to my life and they are just children after all!