Why Reluctant?

I was so excited to have a baby. No one had ever told me motherhood would be the most difficult thing I had ever attempted. I distinctly remember a conversation my husband and I had when I was pregnant about how we'd just take our little one with us along in everything we did in life; it would be our current life, just with a child beside us. HA!

The only thing that's the same about my life today, two-and-a-half years later, is my name and my address. That sweet child (and the 2nd one who followed soon after) have turned life as we knew it completely upside down. My body's not the same (bigger hips, grayer hair, more wrinkles); my house is not the same (carpets, walls, and couches especially); my concept of a "full night's sleep" and a "meal" have been redefined; and -- most importantly -- my priorities have been rearranged.

Where I used to be the center of the universe, my children are quickly teaching me that I am not. Kids have a knack for hitting all the right buttons. Ever asked God to change something about you? Guaranteed if you have kids, they're the ones he'll use to change you. It's amazing.

So here I am, finally learning what it truly means to love being a mom. Finding joy in the disappointments, laughing at the mishaps, and cherishing all of the special moments that happen every day -- if I have the perspective to see them.