Sometimes I'm the one who needs to shut up

I had one of those moments yesterday where I felt like a bad mom.

After a full day of many little aggravations (naps cut short, popcorn spilled on the floor, lots of brotherly fighting -- just the regular daily stuff), everything hit the fan at about 6:00. I was in the bathroom getting ready for our family photo shoot. Kids were already ready (miraculously) and were jumping around the bathroom like wild banshees while I was trying to get ready. Digging in my makeup drawer, spilling loose powder all over the place, breaking the lids off my eyeshadows, spraying hairspray in their faces, tripping over the cord on my hot flatiron (why is that cord so long anyway?). What should have taken 5 minutes was now taking me 25 to get ready.

To top it off, they climbed in the bathtub and one of the little rascals decided he was going to turn on the water (yes, the kids were already dressed for their photo shoot). I know it was just water, but I had had it. "You two shut up and get out of here now!" I screamed. I grabbed them by the arms and swung them out of the bathroom.

My 3-yr old was so taken aback at my anger that he fell on the floor and started crying. So my 2-yr old had to join in too. I looked at my two frightened children and knew I had made a mistake. I felt like a bad mom.

I apologized for getting angry and they moved on to chasing each other around the house. But I learned a valuable lesson: who cares what your Christmas card picture looks like if you hurt your relationship with your kids in the process.

Loving Life Coaching

Have you heard of Life Coaching before? I had heard of it from a few people but had never really considered it for myself, until my neighbor shared the benefits of it with me and offered to get me in touch with a great coach.

After 8 weeks of coaching, I'm a believer. Talking with a life coach has been the best thing I've done for myself in years. My coach, Tina (http://lolcoaching.blogspot.com/), has helped me to put action behind several goals that I had set for myself but had been unable to accomplish on my own. Her positivity and encouragement have led me to not only achieve my goals but also to have a better outlook on life and the challenges I face each day. God knows with kids the challenges are in no short supply.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm definitely Type A and tend to see things on the negative side. Fun is not my middle name, although I wish it were. But after hashing through some recommended books, dusting off an old journal, and learning to see life and myself in a more positive way, I'm a new woman. I would recommend life coaching to anyone who wants to move forward in their life, whether it be in the area of finances, career, relationships, spirituality, or health. And don’t we all?

Life coaching has made a remarkable difference in my life. If you're looking for something to help you move forward, I recommend it. And I for sure recommend my coach too. Sessions are done over the phone, so you can live anywhere and still have Tina as your coach.

Check it out if you want more info (http://lolcoaching.blogspot.com/), and feel free to ask me more!

Too Much Sugar

I hit this wall the other day where I freaked out because I thought Cole was eating too much sugar. He's been getting treats for going potty since May. They say to give them the treats till they forget to ask for them and just go potty without asking for one, so I just kept doing it. I mean, not huge treats, just M&Ms or Skittles, whatever. (Not to mention bribery treats, special outings, etc., but we'll save that issue for another post.)

I didn't really know what to do about it, but I knew it was time for a change when I caught Cole in his room during naptime, treat box in hand, wrappers all over the floor, candy all over Jesse's crib and dribbling out of Jesse's mouth. "What's going on in here?" I said quietly and politely (aka yelled with huge disapproval in my voice).

So at this point I had to do something. Their teeth could be rotting this very minute. My husband and I brainstormed on other options for potty treats: stickers (no, the fun of those would wear off after 1 day), money, little toys. But later that day when Cole went pee I didn't have any substitute treats ready yet, so I just said, "There aren't any more treats for going pee. But you can have a treat whenever you go poo."

"Ok," Cole said, "no treats for pee pee, just for poo poo." My jaw dropped. He understood and was totally ok with it. You've got to be kidding me. It was that easy? Yes, amazingly it was. He must've known he had been milking the system for a while.

So I'm happy to say that was one of the easiest resolutions to a motherhood problem yet for me. I just wish I hadn't waited so long to fix it. Instead of fretting about it every time he asked for a treat, I should've just taken action sooner.

Lesson learned. And glad that challenge is over.

Um, when do things get easier?

I used to ask myself this question all the time. Honestly, I still ask myself this several times a week. It just comes naturally when you have kids running around making life a little more challenging than when it was just you and your sweet hubby enjoying the simple life.

You need to go potty again? Who spilled applesauce on the floor? Ouch - you just gave Mommy a bloody nose! What did you eat that made your puke that color?

But my challenge to myself today (and most days) is to open my eyes and see how absolutely easy our lives are. No matter how many things seem difficult throughout the day, they're really NOTHING to complain about.

The first day that Jesse was in his cast I thought, "God, can I please have my old problems back? They were simple compared to this." Now, I have my old problems back and I'm remembering that feeling and trying to stay true to it.

On top of that, even having a child in a cast is NOTHING compared to the real challenges kids and parents face around the world. We live such comfortable lives and I need to be reminded of that often. This past Sunday I learned there are kids in Brazil whose only hope of survival past age 9 is to go into prostitution. Things like that help to put my life in perspective.

I don't need to list any of the horrific things that go on in the world. We all know they do. For me, I need to remember these things when I'm tempted to think I have it so rough. My definition of "difficult" is what needs to change.

I need to enjoy today, everyday, and live with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. On top of that, I need to teach my family to use the comfort and ease of life we've been given to make a difference and not hoard it for ourselves.

You've come a long way baby!

After 6.5 weeks in a hip spica cast from breaking his femur, our little son Jesse is finally free!

Yesterday his X-ray showed he had produced enough bone in his femur to allow the doctor to take that smelly blue body cast off. We were ecstatic. Jesse screamed bloody murder while the saw was going (those saws are really loud), but the only other emotion we all felt was total joy.

We didn't know what to expect once the cast was off. The doctor had said it would take up to 6 weeks for him to be back to "normal." Would he be able to walk immediately? Would his leg be skinny and emaciated looking? Actually, it all turned out to be as good as possible. His leg looked normal except for having not exfoliated itself for 6 weeks. Even the pink letters the doctors had written on his leg in the ER were still there.

Despite some soreness, Jesse was walking immediately and now, one day later, is climbing on the furniture again. Please, child, give your mother a break! We don't need any more trips to the ER.

It's hard to believe this season has nearly passed for us. Although each day seemed like a grueling eternity during the first few weeks, the cast actually became a normal way of life for us by the time 5 weeks in it rolled around.

Jesse should continue to get back to his toddler ways no problem. We hope he doesn't remember any of the bad parts of this time. We've all learned a lot and it's helped to make us a closer family. For that, and many other things, we're super thankful.

Now for some massages (carrying around that cast for 6 weeks was brutal)...

Fear Everywhere

Fear seems to be around me everywhere lately. Not just any fear; the specific fear of trajedy happening to my kids. I'm sure some of this comes naturally with parenthood. But it's been popping up at every corner.

Jesse getting so badly hurt by simply running through a pile of pillows hasn't helped me be a less cautious mom, that's for sure. So that's one thing: fear of my kids getting physically hurt when playing. I used to be very relaxed about that, but now I'm on edge with it.

Then there are these horrible videos on facebook of kids getting hit by cars or dying in car accidents. I don't even want to think about stuff like that.

And a creepy guy at Centennial Park yesterday warned me, "Don't let your little boys go in that thar bathroom over yonder by themselves." Don't even mess with me mister!

Why is this stuff everywhere??? I can't even watch a TV show where a kid gets hurt in any way. I had to stop watching Grey's Anatomy 3 years ago. I can't handle it!

There are so many ways for our kids to get hurt in our society. The thought of losing a child almost paralyzes me. I'm in a fight now to learn not to be in constant fear about it. I'm not the one in control ultimately, and that's the scariest part! But it's also the thing I need to believe and to let go of in order to overcome all this fear.

The Upsides of Jesse's Current Situation

6 weeks in a body cast??? We were shocked at the news from the doctor that Jesse would be in this huge cast for so long. Neither he nor we adjusted to his new condition quickly. BUT, after a few weeks, we were able to see the good things God was using this time for. Here are a few I've jotted down. I'm sure I'll add to them too.
1. Jesse's small motor skills and hand/eye coordination have developed leaps and bounds, since he is forced to be in one place at a time, and indoors a lot. Puzzles, blocks, games have all gotten to be strengths of his.
2. Jesse's vocabulary has increased. Since he can't show us what he wants, he's had to learn to communicate it to us. He does still use screaming to show us we've misunderstood him, but we've all definitely gotten better at understanding what he's saying.
3. We've had lots more time together as a family, unscheduling ourselves and staying mostly inside.
4. We got to see what an amazing support system of friends and family we have. Meals, activities for the kids to do, friends who've watched Cole or picked up groceries for us, my parents staying with us most of the entire time to help with life. Which brings me to #5
5. The boys have gotten a lot of time with their grandparents, which is priceless.
6. I've become content to stay inside and play with my kids, instead of needing to always go somewhere to stay occupied. We've had lots of fun, and I'm now better able to keep them occupied with things we have at home. (Of course, getting lots of new toys from friends and family helped with that one too!)
7. This also has made us more prepared for winter, and my friends are already saying they'll be asking me for advice on how to stay occupied during long stretches of indoor time during the winter.
8. Jesse is more adaptable now, we hope. I guess we won't know for sure till he gets the cast off, but it's definitely a possibility we're hoping for. God knows adaptability doesn't come naturally for me.
9. I've discovered that I'm more sensitive to kids with special needs, and their parents. I could never fully relate to a parent whose child is permanently disabled, but I have a very good idea of the struggles each day brings in their lives and the myriad challenges they face.
10. Having been helped by so many people, I now have a better idea of how to genuinely help others in need. I'll no longer say, "If you need something, let me know." Instead, I'll try to anticipate others' needs and meet them without them asking.
11. I have a deeper love for my children. I mean, a mother's love is inherent, but mine has grown during this time. The extra time with them, with fewer outside distractions, has been great.

As difficult as this time has been (only 10 days left!!!), it has also been invaluable in terms of what it's done in our lives. Would I go back and avoid Jesse breaking his leg if I could -- yes. But I'm thankful that God has used it to do great things.